Poetry in Motion
by distraught.hallelujah
Summary: A budding poet has traveled to Leaf Village in search of inspiration for her poetic masterpiece. She has decided that inspiration comes in the form of handsome Leaf Village ninja, and what better way to tap into that inspiration than to one-by-one challenge the skeptical villagers to marry her? Will everybody turn her down, or even worse; what if someone says yes?
1. Chapter 1

Poetry in Motion

Chapter One

**All poems are copyright me. I wrote them all by myself, so any relation to any poem living or dead is completely coincidental. I wrote these without meaning to get involved in any copyright infringements, so if there is an actual poem you have read before similar to one of the ones in the book, I assure you that (unless I specifically give a poet credit for something) I came up with it all on my own just like the original poet did.**

* * *

Bright were they, the city lights; that colored the sky like flowers

Dark were they, the city streets; slick with April showers

Dancing were they, the city lights; cool with the frosts of winter

Black were they, the city streets; proud with the mark of the founder

Wishing were they, the city children; lost in fantasy

Forced were they, the city dreamers; to learn reality

Fighting were they, the city children; to see the first light of day

Why were they, the city dreamers; closing their eyes to play?

Stars were they in the city sky; that dappled the night like lanterns

Lovely were they, the city lights; that shared in the love that a heart yearns

Laughing were they, the city lights; having the time of their lives

Smiling was she, a city girl; with all of the light in the world.

Kaminari tapped the brush handle against her chin. This poem was causing her endless trouble. There was one line – one line! – she needed to change before it could be called a poem. At best, it was merely a story at the moment. A poem was a story that told itself, in the way that the words touched the reader's heart. When a poem didn't tell itself, it was just a story. Anyone could write a story, but it was the poems that made a poet unique. With the rest of the rhythm, all she needed was an L-word to go with the city sky, and it needed to be plural (which was tough because 'sky' is singular). 'Laughing were they, the city sky; having the time of its life' didn't sound right, but it needed to be 'were they' to go with the rest of it.

She still wasn't sure about the last line of the first stanza, either. She liked the second stanza, but she felt she needed to lengthen her poem somewhat. This was going to be her masterpiece, and it was still blatantly unfinished! With unfinished work like this, she may not even try for a spot in the Guild of Poets. A talented young poet was hard to come by these days, but any kid off the street could rhyme 'day' with 'play.'

Kaminari slammed her head into the desk in front of her. How could this happen? She had been so proud only moments before, before she realized she needed 'city sky' in the third line of the last stanza before she finished with the last line which, due to the rules of poetry, was allowed to deviate somewhat from the original pattern. All she needed was inspiration, which was much easier said than done. Kaminari suddenly sat bolt upright, her face the picture of triumph.

She would simply have to go on a quest to find some inspiration. She could be that mysterious traveler on the street that every cute guy fell in love with, the one that spoke in riddles (or rhyme, as the case may be) and never told anyone anything straight. When anyone asked her what her quest was, she would smile impishly and say 'I am searching for my inspiration.' It was perfect. It was infallible. It was inspiring just to think about it. All she needed was a long, dark mysterious cloak and a large bag to carry her things in. Soon, Kaminari Sawachika would be the name of the most famous child poet that ever walked the earth! Her poem would be framed and hung on the walls of nobles!

At the very thought of this, Kaminari bubbled with excitement. This would be the best idea of hers yet, and for a person who once wrote a poem about moldy cheese, that was saying something. She was the unpredictable Hurricane Kaminari who swept in and left villagers dazed by her awesomeness (now, let's see… what could rhyme with 'awesomeness'…?). Kaminari swept out of the room majestically. There was a moment of silence. Kaminari reentered the room sheepishly, snatched her brush, ink bottle, and notebook from the table, and then proceeded to majestically re-sweep out of the room.

* * *

"Fore!"

The golf ball hit Kakashi Hatake squarely between the eyes, which may have been very painful if it had not been stopped on its way to his forehead by his Leaf Village hitai-ate. Kakashi blinked as the ball hit the ground and rolled away to sulk.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Kakashi-sensei!" Tenten exclaimed as she put her hand to her mouth in shock and also furtively hid the golf club behind her back with her other hand. "I swear it was all Guy-sensei's idea!"

"Yes, it was!" Kakashi's rival loudly announced from the sidelines. Kakashi blinked, not having enough time to explain that he wasn't hurt, that he didn't care, and that he had the last chapter of Make-Out Tactics to read. Guy didn't even wait for an explanation. He headed right over.

"Here for another challenge, are you?" he said, flashing Kakashi a grin. Kakashi thought for a moment.

"No," he said.

"I was just teaching my subordinates to embrace their true youthful streak," he said, proudly looking back at a somewhat disturbed Neji (who looked ridiculous in golfing shorts, a sweater vest, and a hat that Kakashi guessed must have been all Guy's idea as well), a proud Tenten with her golf club (which she wielded much like a sword – Kakashi decided he wouldn't want to win a golfing tournament against her for fear of the sword-like qualities a golf club did, in fact, have), and a very excited Lee (who was somehow able to pull off the golf shorts).

"That's nice," Kakashi agreed. His visible eye darted back to the book in his hands, and he turned to go.

"Won't you play a friendly game of golf with me?" Guy asked, his hand shooting out to grab Kakashi's arm. Kakashi thought for a moment.

"No," he said.

"And give up the small chance to beat me? If you win this match, we'll be tied," Guy said graciously. Kakashi sighed, shutting his book with his one hand and stowing it away in his pouch of ninja tools that hung from his waist.

"You do know that the current tally is 50-48 in my favor, right?" Kakashi asked. The look on Guy's face was somewhat pained, as though he was remembering something he really didn't want to. Kakashi nodded with the air of one who felt he had done a job well done, and then turned to go. Guy's arm somewhat impeded his movement. In fact, it reversed whatever movement he had entirely. Kakashi found himself facing Guy once more.

"So let's make it 51-48," Guy said, giving Kakashi a thumbs-up and his trademark grin. Kakashi sighed.

"If this isn't mini golf, it won't end like the tennis match, will it?" he asked. The tennis match he was talking about was known as more of 'that sports incident involving the Hokage,' when Guy had accidentally sent the ball into the Hokage's bathroom window. She was taking a bath at the time and was still angry enough to storm all the way down to the tennis court in nothing but a towel and give Guy a piece of her mind, and a particularly violent one at that. Neither one of them wanted to remember that image.

"Of course not," Guy assured him. "I have the targets set up in a direction away from the village, so there's no worrying about that."

"Er… targets?"

"We're hitting targets with golf balls," Tenten spoke up excitedly. "They actually make decent projectiles, although not as streamlined as a kunai knife. Right now, I'm winning, but if Guy-sensei wants to take a break, I think we could all use a short one."

"But Guy-sensei," Lee exclaimed. "You were going to teach me the backhand, remember?"

"Just a short break," Guy promised. Kakashi (who was worried slightly about a golfing backhand, if it was anything like Guy's tennis backhand) wordlessly took the golf club that Tenten handed him.

"We'll do best two out of three. Hit that target over there," Guy said, pointing. Kakashi squinted.

"Which one?" he asked.

"That one over there," Guy replied.

"Should I aim for that one over there or _that_ one over _there_?"

"The one you're facing now is the one you have to hit."

"Oh. All right, then."

Kakashi lined up his shot. This was not like golf he had played in the past, but if it was just hitting a ball at a target, he thought he had a pretty good chance, not that he cared much about Guy's challenges anyway. He had played mini golf with Sakura once and lost, but that may have just been because Sakura's ball had gone straight through the hole, shot through the arcade building, and made its way steadily back around to Kakashi's ankle, where it did its damage and left Kakashi with his ankle in a cast for two weeks.

"On second thought," Kakashi began. Guy shook his head.

"Take the shot," he said. "Your form looks good, so just line up the shot and swing. Look at it this way; at least it's not possible to hit anyone inside the village, right?"

"Perhaps you should've set yourself up farther back so that you had more room, rather than hitting it straight through the village gates," Kakashi suggested. "I could move it a little more so that if anyone enters the village at the precise moment I hit the ball, they won't be knocked unconscious."

"Just hit the ball," Guy exclaimed, and pushed Kakashi forward. Kakashi stumbled and he threw out his hands for balance. The golf club came around with lightning speed and slammed into the ball, which responded in kind. The ball, propelled by the force of the club, shot into the air in the opposite direction of the target, into the village rather than out of it. There was a crashing sound.

Kakashi and Guy exchanged glances. Kakashi thought for a moment.

"You win," he said cheerfully, and pushed the golf club into Guy's hands. He saluted, smiling, and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Guy began to object, but it was too late.

"You again, huh, Guy?"

Guy gulped, turning around very slowly to face the Fifth Hokage in nothing but a towel standing in the street before him, her hands balled into fists, her head bowed. A vein pulsed in her forehead, a sure sign that no mercy would be given.

"Lady Tsunade!" Tenten exclaimed in surprise. Neji and Lee cringed simultaneously. The look on the Hokage's face was one that would pound fear into any man, single or not, whether they had actually done something to deserve a punch or were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, like Guy.

"You… are… dead," Tsunade growled. The birds cried loudly as they launched themselves into the air and the ripple of an earthquake shook the very trees themselves.

* * *

Kaminari bounced to the rhythm of her horse's trot, her teeth chattering. It was somewhat uncomfortable. She kept her eyes on the road in front of her and kept her hands on the horse's reins, but her legs were hurting more and more with each passing moment. She had needed to lease a horse to carry all of her stuff, because she couldn't carry it all herself. However, maybe she should've rented a cart as well.

_Bump_, _bump_, _bump_, _bump_, _bump_.

Kaminari gave a broken sigh that went something like 'Sigh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh.' She started thinking about new poems, maybe having to do with horses. She wasn't getting anything. Perhaps an easier method would be to dismount and tie up the horse, then sit down and write while one with nature. Surely nature was more comfortable. Kaminari yanked on the reins.

"Woah," she said. The horse stopped before she even finished the word, and she slipped over the side, landing in the dust with a cry of surprise. She got up with a groan, putting a hand to her back.

"I hate horses," she grumbled. She grabbed the horse's reins and threw a knot together, tying the horse to the nearest tree branch. Then she slouched on a rock and pulled out her paper and brush.

"Swish, swish, little wish;

How delightfully you swish!

Swish, swish, little fish;

How delightfully you swish!

Swish, swish, little dish;

How delightfully you swish!

Swish, swish, little miss;

How delightful is your kiss!" She recited; an old nursery rhyme that her mother had taught her. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment to get into the rhythm mode. She put a hand to her temple and her forehead creased in effort as she thought of rhyming words, starting with one of her favorite words – saturnine. Bean, lean, wean, keen, seen, teen, and baleen all rhymed nicely, but maybe she couldn't use all of them.

"Saturnine was a little miss teen,

A' searching for her boy;

Lost in thought with what her journey wrought

That it wasn't him they'd seen.

Saturnine was a little miss teen,

A' searching for her boy;

Couldn't find him, had to leave him,

And make dinner from a bean," Kaminari recited. She smiled slightly. Making dinner out of a single bean was something she had done in the past, but it didn't make sense in the poem. Rhyming and making sense together was more difficult. With random lines, you could put together something that sounded good to the ear if no one heard the words and tried to make any sense out of it.

Kaminari frowned. Where was her muse when she needed it? She stood up and packed away her notebook, then began to mount her horse once more. Suddenly, there was a rustling sound from above her. Kaminari shrieked as a large figure dropped, and the next thing she knew, she was torn off of her horse. She hit the ground hard and her head spun while she heard the pounding hooves heading farther. Kaminari slowly got to her knees in time to see the bandit on her horse gallop to freedom. There were two of them, her horse and the bandit. Kaminari swayed for a moment, squinting at the figure until it became one.

"Oh, that was a bad hit," she heard a soft murmur and then a hand gently fall onto her forehead. "Can you breathe okay? Are you seeing doubles? Is anything broken? How many fingers am I holding up?"

Kaminari frowned once more, squinting at the slim fingers held in front of her face.

"Four?" she suggested.

"What is four plus six?" the voice prompted loudly.

"Er…" Kaminari had heard this question before, somehow. She thought for a moment. "A math problem," she replied. The hand disappeared. The next thing she knew, Kaminari was gathered into a bone-crushing hug; or rather, Kaminari had disappeared into an extraordinarily large chest.

"You are my girl!" whoever it was exclaimed cheerfully.

"Who are you?" Kaminari gasped as the arms at last released her. Kaminari looked up at the girl. She seemed about Kaminari's age, with bright purple hair and a more-than-generous bosom that was, thankfully, well-covered. In fact, the girl wore a thick winter coat and hat with a dangling pom-pom on it, even though the temperature had to be at least sixty. The girl gasped, reeling back in shock.

"You don't know me?" she said. "Try again. I'm not the Tooth Fairy or anything!"

"You're…" Kaminari tried, but nothing came to mind. There was a moment of silence.

"I'm your muse!" the girl exclaimed, holding her arms out for another hug. Kaminari kept her arms firmly by her sides as she squinted at the girl.

"You look like…" Kaminari hated to admit it, but somehow the girl did look familiar. "You look a lot like my favorite actress," she said finally.

"You modeled me after her, remember? The other stuff was added later, in accordance to the crazy little thoughts you have in that cute wittle brain of yours!" Muse exclaimed, grinning. "At last, I've been able to show myself! This calls for a big, big hug!"

Kaminari ducked under the girl's arms and made a face.

"You're crazy," she exclaimed.

"Actually you are," Muse replied, crossing her arms over her chest, which was more difficult than it looked. Kaminari's eyebrows came together. "You see," Muse continued. "I am a figment of your imagination. I can't rhyme a thing, unlike you. I mean, for someone who once tried to rhyme 'mom' with 'bomb,' it turned out surprisingly well, though a bit morbid…"

"Wait, wait, wait," Kaminari said, holding up her hands. "So… inside, I'm really a busty purple-haired Eskimo who can't stop herself from hugging people and writes morbid poems for the sake of rhyme?"

Muse paused in thought.

"Yeah," she said finally, grinning happily and cocking her head. Kaminari smiled slowly.

"Wow," she said. "I actually sound really cool."

"Except for your horse," Muse pointed out, pointing down the road. "All you have now is your notebook and ink! It's a fitting end for a poet, I guess, but you haven't even had your romance yet! You need someone who provides you with a wellspring of inspiration, someone who stupefies you with awe and intimidates you at the same time, someone who isn't twenty years older than you and doesn't smell like tobacco…"

"I can't think of anyone like that," Kaminari said, frowning.

"Neither can I!" Muse exclaimed excitedly.

"And anyway, I haven't ended yet," Kaminari said, yanking her cloak from the ground. "I haven't given up on being the mysterious girl. I'll meet a guy at some point, and he'll fall for me."

"Hopefully with more grace than you just did," Muse said, still grinning and nodding as she implied Kaminari's tumble from the evil equine. Kaminari glanced at her.

"You can't read moods, can you?" she asked.

"Can you?" Muse replied.

"No."

"Well, then, that's your answer."

"Fair enough," Kaminari admitted. "Shall we go?"

"Hold on," Muse said quickly as Kaminari began to march down the street. "Do you even know where you're going? I mean, there are bandits and robbers and, you know… insects," Muse added in a quieter voice.

Kaminari began to laugh very loudly and very obviously uncomfortably.

"I'm not scared of insects," she said, scoffing as she attempted to keep her cool. Muse was not amused.

"I am you," she reminded Kaminari. Kaminari froze. Muse went back to smiling brightly. "Anyway, I guess it all bubbles down to one question… where are you going?"

"I'm going to the Village Hidden in Leaves," Kaminari replied promptly. "Everyone knows the cutest boys come from there. What better place to get inspiration than a near-fairytale place surrounded by boys? I mean… you know where I'm going with this, right?"

"Yes," Muse said immediately. Kaminari smiled and began to walk once more. Muse hurried after her.

"But I just don't see how challenging the Hokage to a dango-eating contest would help!" Muse called after her. Kaminari stopped, put a hand to the bridge of her nose, and sighed.

"That wasn't what I was thinking at all," she said reproachfully. Muse shrugged.

"Some muses have a mind of their own," she said apologetically. "Er… where were you getting at again?"

Kaminari looked up, her eyes burning with enthusiasm. Her hands balled into fists.

"I'm going to…" she paused for suspense. "Challenge a cute boy to marry me!"

Kaminari's muse didn't have a reply for this, except to bring her hand to her face and display a neat face-palm. Kaminari didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad one, but she took it to mean good news.


	2. Chapter 2

Poetry in Motion

Chapter Two

"Going to see Guy-sensei in the hospital, are you, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked in a sugary voice, crossing her arms. "Well, how _nice_ is that? And look, you even brought flowers. I can't imagine why you'd feel that you _had_ to see him. I suppose there's nothing _quite_ like receiving flowers from your rival to get you back on your feet, is there, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi put on his infamous 'who, me?' expression.

"And anyway," Sakura continued. "It has _nothing_ to do with the fact that Guy just _happened_ to be caught with a golf club in his hand before the shattered window, when, strangely enough, some people could've _sworn_ it was you who hit the ball. Now, I'm not implying anything or anything…" Sakura leaned forward, her eyebrows coming together. "But you should really apologize," she finished firmly. She leaned back, satisfied.

"Well, you've become quite the young lady," Kakashi said, laughing. "You sound almost like the Hokage herself. Actually, Guy and I were just having another one of those challenges. He challenged me, I said no, and the next thing I knew I was lining up my shot."

"You missed," Sakura said matter-of-factly. "Honestly, I thought you'd steer clear of golf after that accident last time. I'm really sorry about that, by the way. I guess I wasn't thinking. I didn't know a golf ball could snap someone's Achilles' tendon even after flying through an arcade building…!"

"Well, we aren't forgetting who hit it, are we?" Kakashi said breezily. "Anyway, I'll just be a minute."

"Right," Sakura said quickly. "Er… you can go on in then. Don't take too long."

"Thank you."

Kakashi headed past her and down the hall to Guy's hospital room. The sad part was that he didn't feel too apologetic for leaving Guy with the blame. He was just glad it wasn't him in the hospital. He slid open the door and entered the room backward, then turned to face the bed. Kakashi ducked the flying vase quickly. He smiled and gave a little wave, holding up the flowers.

"Congratulations on your victory, Guy. I would put these in water, but the water seems to be on the wall now. Would you like me to get you a new vase?"

"You cheating bastard," Guy growled. His free hand was the only appendage he had left. His other arm and both legs were bound completely in casts. "I challenge you to a rematch!"

"Why?" Kakashi asked innocently. "You won, didn't you? Anyway, I've had enough of challenges to last a lifetime and a half, I'll give you that. How about we just leave it at a tie and stand on equal ground, huh? No one said we had to be rivals."

"You…" Guy spluttered. He reached for the plate that sat by his bed, probably to throw that too. Kakashi was out the door before you could say 'golf' and the plate shattered as the door shut. Kakashi sighed and headed down the hallway. He had had enough challenges to last _two_ lifetimes.

* * *

"I challenge you!"

Kotetsu looked up to see a strange teenage girl in a hooded cloak, her eyes burning with determination, her hand raised and pointed straight at him. He pointed to himself with a questioning look just to be sure.

"Yes, you!" the girl exclaimed. Kotetsu and Izumo exchanged a knowing look. The girl looked from Kotetsu to Izumo and back to Kotetsu, and then pointed a little more firmly. "My name is Kaminari Sawachika, and I challenge you to marry me!"

Izumo promptly choked on his own spit, and slammed his fist on the counter attempting to regain the ability to breathe. Kotetsu's hands, which were flailing in an attempt to get away from the crazy woman, accidentally slammed into Izumo's back, and Izumo entered a coughing fit, putting a hand to his throat. The girl stood awkwardly, arm still raised, until Izumo finally got his breath back. He looked back up at the girl.

"What did you say?" he asked good-naturedly.

"I challenge your friend to marry me," she said stubbornly. Izumo nodded.

"That's what I thought you said," he said. He glanced at Kotetsu. Within moments, both men were on the ground, laughing so hard that they were unable to breathe. Kaminari shifted her weight, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. She glanced up at her muse, who stood waiting with a finger in her nose.

"You planning on helping?" she grumbled.

"I told you, I'm a figment of your imagination," Muse pointed out, shrugging helplessly. "I'm completely invisible to anything except animals. Animals can see me because they have special brains that break the first dimensional wall and create a three-dimensional image without even having it go through their eyes. That's how animals can see ghosts too."

"Whatever," Kaminari grumbled. The two guys at the gate had finally stopped laughing and were leaning against each other for support, panting. "So?" Kaminari demanded. "Do you accept my challenge or are you chicken?"

"I am neither fool nor fowl," Kotetsu said philosophically, giving himself a composed air and trying to puff out his chest to look manly. Kaminari blinked.

"Hey, I should use that line…" she muttered, glancing at the sky in thought. "Neither fool nor fowl am I / and yet I race against the sky / I see the truth within a lie / and I know to live life by. Hey, thanks, sir!" Kaminari waved gratefully and doggedly trotted off, on the way into the village.

"Weren't we supposed to stop her at the gate?" Izumo asked thoughtfully. Kotetsu shrugged. They looked at each other, and then started laughing uncontrollably once more.

Meanwhile, Kaminari was excited. Only one handsome Leaf Village ninja had been challenged, and already her inspiration was on the right track! She glanced at her muse, who was lagging behind.

"If only I wasn't *huff* so top-heavy," Muse panted, struggling to keep up. "How do you *huff* feel about sight-seeing? In fact, how do you feel about *huff* sight-seeing slowly? I like walking. Walking is our *huff* _friend_."

"That's fine with me," Kaminari said, slowing down. She grinned. "Hey, if you see any really cute boys, point them out to me, okay? I have loads more to ask! Every time I ask someone, a new poem comes to mind!"

"It's happened all of one time," Muse pointed out. "How about we try the library?"

"We'll try geeks as a last resort," Kaminari said dismissively. Muse looked somewhat indignant and somewhat disappointed. Kaminari thought for a moment, putting a hand to her chin in thought. Perhaps she really should play the mystery card. All she needed now was someone to try it on…

"Aha!" Kaminari ducked behind a wooden fence and yanked her muse after her. She peered over the side. "The eagle has landed," she murmured, evil laughter rising in her throat. She bit it back. The boy that approached seemed about her age and wore a high, upturned collar and sunglasses. She could barely see any of his face, but he somehow radiated cuteness. Both hands were deep in his pockets. As he neared, Kaminari waited until the right moment to pounce—

"Are you lost?"

Kaminari shrieked, leaping three feet in the air. Behind her stood the boy she had been planning on ambushing only moments before. His eyebrows were drawn together, whether in anger or curiosity Kaminari could not tell. His voice was young but deep.

"I challenge you!" Kaminari exclaimed, pointing. The boy paused for a moment. One of his hands was pulled from his pocket, and he slowly pointed to himself questioningly. "Yes, you!" Kaminari exclaimed.

"Um… Kaminari," Muse asked slowly. Kaminari waved her away.

"I challenge you to marry me," Kaminari said dramatically. "Do you or do you not accept my challenge, mysterious stranger?" Just then she realized (finally) that her mysterious ploy had failed. Instead, she had fallen for the mysterious. The boy let no emotions leak past his sunglasses.

"No," he said. "That's because, first of all, I have no idea who you are. Secondly, I am too young to be married. Third, at the moment I have no wish to settle down and start a family. Fourth, who are you again?"

"I am the last face you will ever see," Kaminari said in a spooky voice, waving her arms and advancing. Within moments, the boy had taken up a protective stance. The next thing she knew, Kaminari was watching her worst fear, insects, pour out of the boy's sleeves, collar, and even his pants. It took on a whole new meaning to having ants in your pants. Kaminari couldn't help herself. No longer able to stand her ground, she shrieked and raced after her muse (who had had enough sense to start running long before) down the street, away from the crazy mysterious stranger.

Shino Aburame put his hands down, frowning slightly. Were all girls like that, or did it just happen to be the ones that gravitated towards him? Was Shino Aburame girl-cursed, or was it just him? And worst of all, was that just a crazy girl, or an enemy ninja, neither of which seemed particularly appetizing at the moment?

* * *

Kaminari slouched against the tree, wheezing as she fought to catch her breath. Beside her, her muse was on the ground panting. Kaminari looked down at her.

"Aren't you hot?" she asked, looking doubtfully down at the mound of swan down that was her muse. Her muse struggled to get up, rolling like a marshmallow before finally being able to get to her feet. She sighed as she shook her head. Kaminari looked up determinedly. "Anyway, you know what we've got to do next, right?"

"Yep," Muse said firmly. Kaminari was about to let her face slip into relief. "But I don't really see how we're going to be able to convince a boy to marry you just with a ping pong match," Muse finished doubtfully.

Kaminari grinned.

"For once, Muse, we're actually on the same page…"

* * *

Kakashi headed down the street, his eyes on the book in his hands. He grinned at a line just before he slammed into a table – located in the middle of the street. Kakashi blinked, looking down at the makeshift ping pong table corner that had just impacted his spleen.

"Welcome, brave challenger!" the hooded figure crowed from the other side of the table. Kakashi had a sinking feeling. "I challenge you to a fair game of table tennis! If I win, you have to marry me! If you win, you get to marry me! With a prize like that, you can't say no, am I right or am I right?"

"Mm…" Kakashi cocked his head. "Who are you, exactly?"

"I am…" the stranger stopped. Her thought was clear; the last one hadn't worked out so well. "I am nobody!" she announced quickly.

"If I have to give up being single for a game of table tennis, I'd like to know who my future wife will be," Kakashi said with a sigh. He had no intention of going through with this challenge. However, Kakashi was more amused than he had been for months.

"I am the famous poet, Kaminari Sawachika!" Kaminari announced. She leaned forward confidentially. "But I'm travelling incognito, so just call me Kaminari."

"Well, I'm busy now, and it's great that you're right, although there's a small chance that you're right, about no one being able to turn it down, but sadly I have to decline your generous offer."

Kaminari's jaw dropped.

"What part of 'don't say no' don't you villagers understand?" she exclaimed, stomping her foot on the ground. "Why does everyone say no? Is it just that everyone's busy? Or am I not pretty enough? I can't help it if I'm not beautiful!"

The next thing he knew, Kakashi was seeing a sobbing girl on a ping pong table in the middle of the street. Now, he hated to see girls cry, and if the whole thing wasn't hilariously funny (and it was) he might have accepted her challenge. However, he had work to do.

"Wait," Kaminari said suddenly, throwing out a hand and catching his arm. Kakashi had a flashback to what had happened after the last time someone had grabbed his arm.

"Please?" she said hopefully. "Just play one game? Or maybe do you have any friends? Really cute ones who maybe like ping pong and aren't afraid to marry a stranger?"

Kakashi thought for a moment. Guy came to mind, but Kakashi could not even resign his rival to such a fate.

"No," he said. Kaminari melted back onto the table.

"Fine, leave me to my aimless wandering," she said dramatically. "I was born a spinster, I shall live a spinster for the small amount of days I have left, and then I shall die a spinster. Oh, the horror, the grief of life! Please, kill me now, safe me from this eternal despair…!"

"Fine, fine, one game," Kakashi said quickly, before he even remembered what was at stake. He gulped. If he lost, he had to marry a complete stranger. If he won, there would be no more drinking during the day, no more reading questionable books, no more free time…

Kaminari watched the quickly-receding dust cloud. She looked sidelong at her muse.

"You think he'll come back?" she asked. Her muse looked hopeful, then slouched.

"No," she admitted. Kaminari hung her head.

"That's what I thought," she said with a long-suffering sigh.

* * *

Kaminari sighed as she made her way up the stairs to the roof. So far she had asked nearly every likely candidate, and all she had gotten were various answers from 'no' to 'hell no' to stronger language to trying to drag her off to a mental facility. Kaminari, not to mention her muse, was pooped.

Then she saw him, leaning back on the bench, his face turned upwards toward the sky. His hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail and his face was calm and serene, so much so that somehow, Kaminari could clearly see that this was the one. She moved forward in a trance, her hands outstretched…

"Hmm?" One of the boy's eyes opened, and he looked the blushing stranger up and down.

"Er… hi," Kaminari said, smiling and giving a little wave. "Will you… that is… could you… would you do me the honor…"

The boy sat up, frowning slightly. Kaminari blushed once more.

"Will-you-marry-me?" she asked in a rush. The boy blinked. Kaminari knew in a moment that she had blown it, and immediately she was flying back down the stairs, away from that gorgeous angel, to fetch her heart from her throat. She backed against a wall, her breathing unsteady, her face bright pink, staring off into space with the look of one struck by one of Cupid's sharper arrows.

"I know where we're going next," Muse said, elbowing Kaminari playfully. "Come on, you know you want some geek! To the library we go!"

"I can't leave him," Kaminari gasped.

"Have you ever seen a geek hunk?" Muse asked, crossing her arms. Kaminari paused. Without waiting for her answer, Muse shrugged and grabbed ahold of Kaminari's arm. "There's a first time for everything!"

The phrase echoed through the streets as the busty purple-haired girl propelled a doubtful Kaminari down the street towards the library in search of the elusive geek hunk.

* * *

Sai had his hand on the book, but as he pulled the book off of the shelf, there was a sudden moment of indecision. He called it indecision even though most people would refer to it as 'shock' that made him leap back, slamming into the opposite shelf. There was a face grinning at him from behind the book. It was a girl in a rather dirty travelling cloak who was pointing straight at him.

"Marry me," she ordered. Sai blinked. He raised a hand to point to himself quizzically. In reply, the girl hitched up her skirts and dove between shelves, knocking a large number of books off. Was it that difficult to just go around the bookshelf?

"Yes, you," the girl said angrily, getting up and rubbing her head where 'Lies and How to Tell Them' had hit when it had fallen from the shelf above. She brushed herself off and snatched her hood, yanking it off her head. She grinned triumphantly, dimpling, as her dark hair fell over her shoulders. "My muse was right," she announced. "Geek hunk does exist! Why did I not try the library earlier? Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kaminari, and I am a famous poet. Incidentally, I am also your future wife. Do you have any plans for next Saturday?"

"Not particularly," Sai replied, smiling. He had no idea why someone would want to marry him on such short notice, and he wasn't quite sure how to react. He knew how delicate girls were (or, at least, they were apparently delicate) and yet Sakura would put him in the hospital just for calling her ugly, so how would another girl react if he turned down her proposal? He didn't even want to know. "Next Saturday works for me," he said finally. "Will you be inviting your family?"

Kaminari froze.

"What do you mean?" she snapped.

"I accept your proposal of marriage," Sai said, putting a fake smile on his face to mask his confusion and horror. What was he getting himself into? Kaminari turned around, facing away from him.

"What am I supposed to do when one of them says yes?" she whispered, apparently to herself. She started nodding, as though listening to what she was replying. She turned around. "Yes, I will be inviting my family," she said loftily. She froze and whipped around once more. "You idiot!" she hissed. "What kind of advice is that? Stop laughing and answer me!"

"Would you like to come with me for lunch later today so that we can get to know each other before the wedding?" Sai asked curiously. Kaminari was at a loss for words. She hadn't… actually… expected someone to say yes! She was far too young to be married! She didn't even know this guy's name!

"Right, uh…" she paused for the name.

"Sai," Sai supplied helpfully. Kaminari nodded firmly.

"Noon, Ichiraku Ramen, don't be late," she snapped, thinking of the first restaurant that came to mind. She had passed it on her way to the library. She stomped her foot as she turned and flounced out of the library. Sai began to pick up the books when suddenly his future wife marched right back, knelt down, picked up 'Lies and How to Tell Them,' and tucked it under her arm.

"And I'll be taking this out, too," she said loftily, stomped once more for good measure, and finally left. Sai stared after her. He'd better get used to it – by this time next week, he would be a husband.

* * *

Sakura was heading slowly down the street, her bag slung over one arm. Was she just imagining it, or were all of the men she passed looking somewhat baffled? She happened to pass Kakashi, who looked nonplussed and held his book in hand.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura asked, trotting over to him. "What's going on? Why is Shino sulking? Why is Neji walking into trees and apologizing to them? Why is Kiba sleeping on a ping pong table in the middle of the street? What the heck is happening?"

Kakashi looked up as he shut the book and Neji slammed into a birch at the same time.

"Someone in the village has been asking random people to marry her," Kakashi answered. Sakura blinked. "I believe she's a famous poet travelling incognito," he continued. "Kaminari Sawachika was her name, I think."

"Marry her?" Sakura gasped, laughing aloud. "My goodness; is that why all of the men are so down? Honestly, if there was a guy asking everyone to marry him, I'd be a little more… I don't know, elated! Oh, there's Sai! I have to ask him if anyone's asked to marry him yet. This is just too good!"

Sakura raced off down the street towards the pale boy who was heading determinedly down the street. Kakashi watched her go for a moment, and then went back to his book. He kept walking.

"Please excuse me," Neji said, nodding to the tree and continuing on his way.

"Sai!" Sakura called loudly, waving. The boy nodded to her and kept walking. Sakura caught up. "What's going on?" she panted. "Has anyone… asked you… to—?"

"Excuse me, Sakura," Sai said. "I am on my way to a date with my future wife, and I can't be late or she'll kill me. Do you know where I can find a nice suit? Oh, and you are invited to come to the wedding if you'd like."

"No, I'm afraid not, and thank you," Sakura said confusedly. Sai kept walking, and Sakura watched him go. Just then, what he had really said hit home. She frowned. Suddenly she put her hands to her mouth in horror. "Oh my gosh!" she shrieked. "Sai accepted her marriage proposal!"

And every male in the nearby vicinity looked up, momentarily startled, and started laughing.

* * *

"Hello," Kaminari said dully as her future husband sat beside her.

"I'm not late, am I?" he asked worriedly. Kaminari shook her head and folded her arms.

"Okay, listen," she said. "I think it's about time I told you a bit about myself. I'm a poet, okay, and the reason I asked you to marry me was because I want to do something wild and crazy because I need some inspiration for my newest poem. I really think it could be excellent, but I just need to fix that last line. I've been asking a bunch of people, and they always said no."

"What'll you have?" Ichiraku asked. He recognized Sai and smiled slightly. "Oh, is this your new girlfriend?" he asked playfully with that 'wink, wink, nudge, nudge' sort of look.

"No," Sai replied, smiling brightly. "She's actually my fiancée."

Ichiraku blinked.

"Right," he said. "Well… good luck."

Then he turned around and contented himself to silent wheezing laughter.

"About that," Kaminari said, frowning. "You see, I really… wasn't expecting anyone to say yes."

"I understand," Sai said. He took her hand on the counter, smiled tenderly at her, and leaned forward. Kaminari fell off the stool with an indignant shriek, throwing up her arms to protect herself.

"Are you all right, darling?" Sai asked concernedly.

"Don't call me that, crazy!" Kaminari exclaimed, getting up and rubbing her sore bottom. This was why she hadn't asked a geek. They were crazy! And why was the ramen cook singing in Italian?

"Shut up," she snapped to Ichiraku, who somehow had gotten his hands on an accordion. He stopped when Kaminari's glower reached his brain and cleared his throat, hastily scrambling to put away the instrument. Sai watched Kaminari questioningly as she put her head in her hands. He didn't know quite what to do. Finally, he pulled out his notebook. Kaminari's eyes flashed to his curiously.

"I'm an artist," he said, smiling. "This is my masterpiece." He held up the notebook to the middle page, where two boys held hands, smiling happily. "It's my favorite drawing," he said, looking down at it and smiling softly. "He was my best friend, more like a brother to me," Sai said softly. Kaminari stared at the drawing for a moment. Suddenly, her whole face brightened. She leapt to her feet.

"I've got it!" she exclaimed. Sai blinked. "The line, the line, I've got it!" Kaminari exclaimed, dancing around. She grabbed Sai and gathered him into a huge hug, then planted a kiss firmly on his lips. Sai was utterly baffled, yet somehow a crazed smile made its way onto his face. Kaminari let him go and danced around some more, her face the picture of enthusiasm. "Thank you so much, Sai," she said, making a hasty bow and scooting away. "Goodbye!" she called as she raced down the street, pulling something out of the bag at her waist at the same time. Her muse followed, laughing aloud.

"I saw that," she crowed. Kaminari didn't care.

Her inspiration had struck. Now her masterpiece could be made whole.

* * *

Bright were they, the city lights; that colored the sky like flowers

Dark were they, the city streets; slick with April showers

Dancing were they, the city lights; cool with the frosts of winter

Black were they, the city streets; proud with the mark of the founder

Wishing were they, the city children; lost in fantasy

Forced were they, the city dreamers; to learn reality

Fighting were they, the city children; to see the first light of day

Why were they, the city dreamers; closing their eyes to play?

Stars were they in the city skies; that dappled the night like lanterns

Lovely were they, the city lights; that shared in the love that a heart yearns

Laughing were they, the city skies; spanning hand in hand with a friend

Smiling was she, a city girl; with all of the light in the world.

* * *

The End


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